THEY CALL IT JELLO BELLOW

 
Ever seen a 60-year-old man crowd-surf?  Well, I have.  Last night.  Wait…I figure he’s gotta be at least 50…let me check Google.

 
Back.  OK, he’s 53.  But Eric Reed Boucher a.k.a. Jello Biafra showed a bunch of largely puzzled kids at the Boardwalk in Orangevale Wednesday night that, while resembling someone who just finished nine holes at the local muni, he can still get up there and flagellate quasi-political-revolutionary shtick that blew by barriers of credulity thirty years ago, and now seems quaint amidst a landscape of pugnacious thugs like Bill O’Reilly and Nancy Grace.

 
Purple-haired, mascara-smeared kids — who likely weren’t even born yet when the Dead Kennedys broke up — perhaps were expecting someone a bit more iconoclastic to represent the “DK” patches they proudly sported on the backs of their ripped jean jackets.  They gamely attempted to look interested as Jello stopped in between songs to yell about Dianne Feinstein.  I asked the guy next to me, “Do you know who Dianne Feinstein is?”  He shook his head.

 
“Holiday in Cambodia”?  Try “Holiday When You Find One Person Here Who Can Find Cambodia On A Map”.  No, he’s actually saying “Pol Pot”, not “Grow Pot”.  See, Pol Pot was…never mind.

 
Interestingly, when Biafra and backing band the Melvins (uber-professional bog-rock boilermakers who frankly ought to know better) came on for an encore nobody seemed to want, the guy removed his shirt (!) to reveal a physique which resembled a landslide while launching into a tirade to introduce “Rock & Roll McDonald’s”, which is about how fast food is bad for you and makes money for big corporations.  “A BIG MAC HAS 26 GRAMS OF FAT!  A QUARTER-POUNDER — 28 GRAMS!!”


I was sure to hit the drive-thru on the way home.  I got a #2 combo, large.  Apparently they don’t do “Super Size” anymore.

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